And the Wino goes to....

Hello and Happy post Oscar night!

Before we get started on our Bachelor recap, we must give a special shoutout to the original girl crush, Scar Jo:

Really. Just ridiculously beautiful.

And on to the Bachelor!! Final three!!!

We started off this evening with a wine from Chile (we're going around the world along with the Bachelor cast, apparently):



La Playa Sauvignon Blanc
Price: $10.99
Location: Bel Air

According to a website, this wine is "Irresistibly inviting aromas tempt you with notes of fresh cut grass, grapefruit and honeydew. Crisp bright flavors define the wine on the palate with accents of citrus around a core of dry minerality. Zesty acidity leaves you smacking your lips and asking for more!"

Our vote? "Doesn't really taste like anything." "Yeah. Tastes like nothing." Which I guess is good if you don't like the taste of alcohol? (In which case, you're at the wrong blog.)

The meal of choice with this particular wine? Cheese, cheese, bread and jam. The dinner of champions.



So Mii bachelor and his ladies are off to....South Africa!!! We're sure you're with us when we gave a big "Aww!!!" to the baby monkeys, baby elephants, and baby giraffes. Obviously being a baby anything makes you about 10x cuter.

Brad started off with a safari trip with Chantal, which looked pretty amazing! Although, we both thought he looked like a goober with that stupid hat on.

Now, when we think of Chantal, we tend to think of this:



So it was nice to see her smiling for a change. Not so surprisingly, she took Brad up on his 'fantasy suite' offer, which turned out to be....a tree house in the middle of the savannah. Now, as amazing as this is for you camping lovers, we couldn't help but think "What if she has to pee?!" Nothing more romantic than running behind an African bush while Brad looks on. Eek.

Next up, Emily. And a new bottle of wine. Double YAY!



2008 Martin Codax Albariño Rias Baixas
Price: $13.99 (we were going snazzy this evening!)
Location: Selland's

Now THIS was a good wine! Green apple and lemon, with a vanilla finish. It went great with our leftover cupcakes from the Oscar party! (Chocolate and Fun-fetti, for those that are curious).

Lucky Emily was picked up on her date by an elephant, which made her cute cut off shorts look like underwear (we bet Brad was broken up about this):


He's practically crying here.

They had a romantic date and we really like that Brad is actually courting her, since he's aware that she's WAY too good for him. She's way too good for us. What is she even doing on this show?!

Finally, we have Bad Eyebrows Dentist on the most awkward date ever. Uhh, jellybeans? We think Brad made the right choice in sending her home, since all she could muster is that they have a great connection and chemistry. Who cares if we live in the same city? We have carnivals to keep us together!

Although we can't stand her eyebrows, we must give props to Ashley's "slammin' body."



Maybe this photo will keep her warm on those cold, lonely nights that she's studying for her final. Too soon?

We were also happy to see the return of Chris Harrison! Where has he been this whole season? This is the easiest job ever. Just show up in all these random, exotic locations and say "Ladies, this is the final rose this evening."
Can we get this job??

Next week: Behind the Rose: The Return of Crazy Michelle.

We'll leave you this week with a poll for the ugliest dress at the Oscars.
Melissa Leo vs Nicole Kidman:





Is napkin couture in these days??

Hometown Dates, Intown Winos..

Welcome again fellow wine lovers!!


Tonight we are watching the Bachelor's hometown dates...and enjoying some intown wine and bacon/cheese amazingness.

This evening's wines of choice:


We'll start off with Starborough, 2009, Sauvignon Blanc
Price: $11.99
Location: Local Liquor Store (i.e. "That one on like 24th and N?")

To us, this smells fruity or possibly like a 'kitten' (depending on if you have one readily available and playing around your wine). We both love this wine. At first, because it has such a pretty bottle (yay starfish!!!), but also because it is light, fruity, hints of lemon and grapefruit and a light finish.

Those of you familiar with Bachelor knows tonight is the most important of all nights...HOMETOWN DATES!!!

We start of with Chantal from Seattle:

Now, Sarah happens to love Seattle, so Chantal starts off with extra points right off the bat. However, the consensus on Chantal is that "she looks really pretty when she's not crying." Basically, she's screwing herself over because she's a) hot, b) rich (holy f*ck, did you see that house?!), and c) seems pretty cool for growing up with money. BUT, she cries at a drop of a hat and nobody loves a crybaby.

While we're enjoying the lovely sights of Seattle, we are also tasting the delicacies of ham and cheese courtesy of Trader Joes:

Not only are these amazing, but they might also cause you to die of a heart attack. Which I guess is also great, depending on your personal opinion.

Next up on our hometown dates is...Ashley!

She's nice enough...but apparently bad eyebrows run in her family. We're also a fan of her tattooed sister more than her.

Time for wine #2!!


Dancing Bull, 2009, Sauvignon Blanc
Price: $9.99
Location: That same liquor store down the block

According to Linz, this one smells like 'truffles.' Which, come to think of it, sounds disgusting, but really it was pretty good! Hints of vanilla, smooth, easy to drink and a lot lighter than the last wine.

Next date, local girl Shawntel:

Chico!!! What, what!!

So, as much as we like Shawntel, even we weren't onboard with the date in the dead box. "Welcome to Chico...here's a cemetery!!" But, her sisters are pretty, so she's got that going for her.

And finally, the last date was the amazing, wonderful, perfect, Emily!!!

Yeah, so she's perfect. And beautiful. And amazing. Also....they ate grilled cheese together and drank water out of mason jars. Really, what more could you want out of a woman!?! We kind of want to marry her.

Game on, Brad.

Welcome Bachelors and Bachelorettes!

Hello and welcome to our first blog!!

Basically, Linz and Sarah get together, drink wine, and comment on trashy reality tv shows. Just like you, except we're a little bit more snarky.

So, what's on the menu tonight?!


THE BACHELOR!



Now, we must stipulate, we do not find Brad attractive. Yes, the body's great, but we both agree that he looks a little bit like a Mii. It's the beady eyes:



See? Totally a Mii character.

Anyway, tonight we started off with a bottle of white from Trader Joe's.
Brand: Pacific Rim Autumnus
Price: $5.99
Location: Trader Joe's


So, TJ's decribes this as "aromas of jasmine and otrus fruits and a layered flavor profile balanced by bright acidity."

Our vote? It was good. Light and fruity. But honestly, we were sidetracked by the amazingness that is Emily. I believe at one point, Brad was saying how much he liked her and wanted to meet her kid. Which Lindsay then replied "Um, yeah. I really like her. I even kind of want to meet her kid."

So basically, we kind of have a girl crush on Emily. Who wouldn't?!

Perfection. And Sarah doesn't even like blondes.

Anyway, on to bottle number 2. Which is:
Brand: Ferrari-Carano Fume Blanc
Price: ??? (Linz bought this one)
Location: Your local liquor store



This was good! We don't have a description of this one (because, really, does your liquor store supply any?), but it was light, mild acidity, and got the job done!

At this point, we were hardly paying attention to the wine because Bachelor Brad had taken the ladies on a Sports Illustrated bikini shoot! Yay bikinis!! But BOO on crazy Michelle, who not only was breaking out during her trip to Anguilla, but had her usual nasty attitude to match.

Luckily, Brad heard our pleas.....and sent her home!!! Bye crazy!!!


(P.S. She's claiming to be "30." Just like we are....oh...I dunno, "22.")


Anyway, thus ends our first post! Next time, we'll make sure to have some food to pair with our two bottles of vino.

Until then!
XOXO,
Linz & V